I don't think anybody realizes how hyperemesis gravidarum really affects, and what it does to your family until they go through it. The emotional and physical effect on the mother to be, the emotional effects on the husband and children and, in our case, the toddler, is massive.
My lovely wife is pregnant for the fourth time with HG and we have one beautiful toddler daughter. To look at my wife and see how she suffers, how her body deteriorates, how she emotionally deteriorates, is so so sad. In only just a couple of days and numerous times of vomiting she ended up in hospital, totally dehydrated and needed to get IV's. She just would not have made it without them. The hardest part was me sitting next to the bed in the hospital and looking at her crying and begging me for a termination as her body and her mind just could not cope anymore. Looking into her eyes and seeing how depressed and lifeless they look broke my heart. That is very hard to see for a husband. All I could do was hold her hand and pray for her because termination was not a possibility as she/we wanted another child very badly. 😢
Here we had a constant feeling of nausea, of sickness, constant vomiting, depression and then PTSD after the previous pregnancies with nausea, giving her anxiety attacks as well. I then realised the only person that can save her emotionally is me, her husband and I must be strong. Drying my tears, I just had to get her positive, I had to get her through this ordeal. The IV's helped, the doctors and their medical plans helped and slowly but surely, we are getting there. We started off planning and looking at it hour-by-hour, day-by-day, week-by-week to get better. Not a long-term plan but very very short-term plans almost snack-by-snack, medication-by-medication and day-by-day until she could get better. But support of friends, support of prayers, support from myself we finally reached a turning point. Seeing her like that is terrible, seeing our toddler not understanding that mummy can't play, and that mummy can't help her is so hard, hard for both of us and for everybody around us and so much harder for the poor mother.
Weekly trips to the hospital for extra fluids and a good medication routine helped tremendously. We are now at a point where all vomiting has stopped, and nausea is only now and again. But she still is very weak and cannot do much because she then is tired, and this triggers the nausea again. We are hoping that all will be okay at 12 weeks, but for some mums this carries on until their baby is born. If you are one of those mums, I salute you !!!
If you are a HG survivor, you already are a super mum.
If this is your first pregnancy remember you have already become a
mother, going through a pregnancy with HG makes you a super mum. You're already
fighting for your baby, you are already giving up a lot for a baby that has not
even been born yet, you are a winner, YOU ARE A WINNER. And if your partner
does not support you enough, if he does not understand it, if he does not do as
much as possible to help you through this, to support you through this
emotionally and physically, in the house and all over, then he has let you down. He needs to be on board, and he needs to give his everything.
My daily routine looks something like this: I try and be up before anybody else is awake that I can get an hour or more work done. Then I make tea for my lovely wife with a rusk, something to settle her stomach. I take a shower and get dressed, and then get my toddler up and dressed and ready for pre-school. I help my wife get ready (if she needs help), make them both breakfast and pack a lunch box for my toddler. I make or pack a snack for my wife and then we are off. My wife I drop off at the hospital for IV's and my toddler for school. I might stop at the supermarket for a couple of things on my way home and then start working. Around 3 hours later I am off again to pick both of them up and get lunch ready. Hopefully our toddler is restful the afternoon that I can put a couple of hours in working again. Then it is evening and a bath and supper needs to be done, a snack for my wife for the night and getting our toddler to bed. I then normally try and get in another couple of hours of work. On weekends I do the laundry and pack out our weeks medication in our containers, all ready for each day. (This includes reminders on my phone to remind my wife when she needs to drink her meds) This continues day in and day out, week in and week out, but we focus on the day that my dear wife will feel better, and we focus on the little miracle growing inside of her 😊
She CANNOT do this alone, husbands and partners, man up, you need to help her as much as possible. She did not get pregnant by herself, getting her and that baby through HG is just as much your responsibility as hers.
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